Every time I stop trying!

It happens! I'm keeping my feelings tempered on this one until we know for sure...

Giving up

So after a year of trying and one miscarriage of two chemical pregnancies which are really just evil pregnancy tests we are giving up on the active hope of another baby. I feel empty, heartbroken, and relived. But I also feel like a failure. I hope are attempts at nothing result in something. I try to enjoy my two year old but with friends all around me getting pregnant or due at the same time
Poppyseed was set to make their arrival all I feel is failure.

2 in 2

So Christmas Day after telling myself I was imagining symptoms I took a test and it was positive. I called the doctor and my last blood draw was negative so it meant I really was pregnant again!! In Thursday I told the husband. On Friday I began bleeding. On Saturday I wasn't pregnant anymore. The ER doc told me it was "great news." I hope he gets the flu I have had for the last week.

Blogger sucks

I had written this horribly personal post about missing Poppyseed and my pain but Blogger deleted it. Then I decided to pee at which point my only boy kitty Blue decided to join me. Which for some ungodly reason he has been doing ever since we took him to the vet to cure his UTI. I would blame it on separation anxiety but since I am the night tech at said vet he was never actually away from me. Go figure.

It's done

I will post the last two belly pics but there will be no more. On Monday I went for my sonogram at 10w and my poppyseed was no more. Or never was I suppose. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum and after a second opinion confirmation opted to have a d&c to save me the heartache of natural miscarriage during the holidays. Everything happens for a reason and I keep telling myself that over and over. To this one dark cloud there are silver linings and I know one day in the future there will be another baby in our home. Just not today.
The picture of me in the scrubs in 9w4d. The picture of me in the sweater is 8w.

7 weeks 4 day pic

Ordered the first gift for Poppyseed this week! It is a Loki helmet and cape crocheted by etsy.com/shop/district7designs. It is awesome and I can't wait to use it in the pregnancy announcement. :) I had my first craving last night (omelet! Yum!) which my husband was nice enough to make. And a new symptom of food aversion (pork chops). I hope the pork thing doesn't transfer over to bacon too because that will make an even longer 33 more weeks!! Picture taken October 24, 2012

6 weeks 1 day pic

I missed week five because we were up in Georgia but here is week 6. :) Still have lots of symptoms like morning sickness, sore back, and fatigue. We've told all close family about our little Poppyseed and people at work as well. (Had to tell people at work so that I didn't have to take any more x-rays). Picture take October 14, 2012.